Una història d’amor després de la vida

“Mi nuevo corazón llenó mi vida de pesadillas”

Charlotte Valandrey, actriz y escritora

LA CONTRA LV IMA SANCHÍS 22/10/2012


Qué cree que la salvó?
El amor y la autoestima construida gracias al afecto que recibí de mis padres y después de algunos hombres que han desafiado el peligro del sida para estar conmigo.

Tenía 18 años y estaba en la cumbre.
Me habían concedido un Oso de Plata en Berlín y estaba nominada a los Cesar por Rouge baiser. Era el año 1987, los médicos me dieron seis meses de vida (les suele faltar mucha psicología), pero opté por el “todo irá bien”.

¿Y fue bien?
Viví diez años sin problemas físicos, el tiempo necesario para que la ciencia descubriera la triterapia, y creo que se lo debo a que mentalmente estaba fuerte, no me hundí.

¿Guarda rencor?
Me enamoré de un rockero, fue una historia de juventud. Me dejó. Luego murió. La gente joven debe saber que basta una noche de amor para contagiarte.

¿Le dañó estar en la cima tan joven?
Tenía un agente, pero yo tomaba gran parte de las decisiones y cometí errores. El peor fue decirle a Jean-Claude Brisseau que era seropositiva. Iba a ser la protagonista de Noce blanche, y rescindió mi contrato. Esa película lanzó al estrellato a Vanessa Paradis.

Eso hace pupa.
Nada comparado con los estragos de la medicación, los vómitos, ver cómo cambia tu cuerpo, como se hincha y afloja. Mi corazón no resistió y tuve dos infartos y finalmente un trasplante a los 34 años.

¿Qué sabe de la memoria celular?
La he experimentado. Tras el trasplante me cambiaron los gustos y empecé a tener una pesadilla recurrente, cada vez más precisa, más detallada.

¿Qué soñaba?
Un accidente de coche, pero no era yo la que conducía, era otra mujer joven. Llovía mucho, ella tenía sangre por todo el cuerpo y junto a ella había un bebé. Corría. Siempre me despertaba justo antes del choque.

¿Qué le decían médicos y psicólogos?
Que era normal, que todos los corazones que se utilizan para trasplante son de accidentes y que mi subconsciente lo sabía. Para olvidarme un poco me fui con una amiga a la India. Fuimos al Taj Mahal y tuve un déjà vu: sabía dónde se hallaba todo y sentí que había estado allí locamente enamorada.

¿Buscó la identidad de su donante?
Sí, pero son datos muy protegidos. Tiempo después me enamoré locamente de un admirador y las pesadillas cesaron. Vivimos una preciosa historia de amor hasta que un año después tuve una premonición clarísima.

¿…?
En su casa había un secreter siempre cerrado y supe que debía abrirlo. Descubrí que él era el marido de la mujer que me había donado el corazón, que la noche del accidente llovía, que estaba embarazada y que corría al hospital porque perdía sangre.

Increíble.
También supe que se conocieron en la India y que Yann se declaró en el Taj Mahal.

¿Es posible reconducir una relación después de un shock como este?
Nos separamos. Yann se fue a trabajar fuera, pero me seguía mandando cartas de amor y yo seguí amándole. Dos años después reanudamos la relación, pero yo estaba en guardia, no conseguía darme al cien por cien. Me di cuenta de que él no había terminado de hacer el duelo por la muerte de su mujer y rompimos definitivamente tras un año en el que hubo momentos fantásticos.

¿Es posible perdonar ese engaño?
Basta con comprender que cuando se dona un órgano de una persona amada se desee verlo revivir en otra persona.

¿Por qué cree que se detuvieron las pesadillas al conocer a Yann?
No tengo explicación, posiblemente las células tengan memoria, ¿por qué no?… Quizá esa parte suya que vivía en mí quería que nos conociéramos y que estuviéramos juntos, porque si él no me hubiera buscado, lo habría hecho yo, de esto estoy segura.

¿Ha hecho las paces con su corazón?
Sí, hoy sé que viene de una buena persona que me ha dado la opción de seguir viva.

¿Qué ha aprendido del amor?
A menudo me ha decepcionado, pero de la decepción no se saca nada bueno. El amor de pareja te da una energía que es irreemplazable, y para que este funcione es imprescindible el amor a la vida.

¿Ha temido morir?
Sólo una vez, cuando tuve un infarto en el 2008, pero hasta entonces no había pensado jamás en la muerte. Me dijeron que era probable el rechazo, pero me negué, empecé a hacer deporte y todo lo que estuvo en mi mano para sobrevivir.

El pensamiento positivo no siempre funciona.
A mí me ha funcionado, pero uno no cambia de la noche a la mañana. Hay que empecinarse, dedicar tiempo.

¿Qué es lo mejor que le ha pasado?
Mi hija y ayudar con mis libros. Creo que he conseguido transmitir un mensaje de esperanza. He recibido cartas de personas enfermas que han estado a punto de tirar la toalla, pero que como yo decidieron seguir adelante. En la vida no todo puede ser oscuridad, siempre acaba saliendo el sol.

Le habrán llegado muchas historias referentes a la memoria celular.
Muchísimas, pero quiero dejar el tema a un lado para poder seguir con mi vida.

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